Who Do You Hang Around?

There's an old saying from Napoleon Hill that we become the average of the 5 people we hang around most - our 5 closest friends. In my case, my 4 of my 5 closest friends are children, so yeah, that's probably accurate!

Choosing who we spend time with is often not seen as a choice. You can't choose your family, they say. You CAN choose how much time you spend with them, though, as well as how you spend that time, and what is allowed to happen in that time.

Unless we're the boss, we can't control who we work with, right? You CAN choose how you react to them, however. You can even choose whether to keep working there.

But our friends? That is completely and easily within our control. Despite the emotional stories we create that might prevent us from changing who is in our inner circle, it is possible to switch who we interact with on a regular basis fairly easily.

I'm not suggesting that you don't have the perfect friends right now. Do you? Have you taken a look at them lately? Are they a positive influence? Do they encourage you to meet your goals, or theirs? Are they pushing you up, or dragging you down? If your goal is to create a booming home business, are they busy encouraging you, and perhaps even helping? Or are they telling you how ridiculous your scheme is? Even if they think your scheme is ridiculous, the best friends will find ways to say it in constructive, vs. destructive, ways.

What many motivational and business gurus don't talk about is the reverse side of friendship. After all, we're not in it just for ourselves. What are you giving to your friends? Do you encourage and mentor? Do you have friends that make less and are not as successful as you, but who you are helping to propel closer to THEIR goals?

If we only hang with people who we perceive are better than us, are we not building a faulty model? After all, how could someone MORE successful than ourselves then hang with us? To work properly, it must work both ways.

Of course, we must delineate a friend with a poor attitude from a friend who is simply at a different level of life. Making the choice to jettison or at least drastically reduce exposure to people with poor attitudes is vital to keeping a positive perspective on your own future.

Those at a different level of life? Consider keeping balance. Find friends who have achieved your goals, and learn from them. Keep friends who are in your peer group, but willing to back you in your pursuit of greater achievements.

Perhaps the missing part of this equation is this: seek out friends who you can help. Find people you enjoy spending time with who will benefit more from being your friend than they can give to you in return. Don't just be a guru or a mentor or a coach - be a friend.

I would suggest a new equation for the Napoleon Hill's of the world: You are the average of what the 5 people you helped most finally achieved.