When You've Made the Wrong Choice

We don't always make the right choices. Sometimes, we make one that we think is for the best, only to find out later it is not. Undoing bad choices is usually possible, but not always comfortable.

Back in June, I made a big deal about choosing to take a sabbatical from Toastmasters. I felt that it was distracting me from accomplishing my goals, and taking me down the wrong road. I needed a change.

Two months later, my wife spoke with me about a change she'd seen in me - my enthusiasm was down, my drive was muted, and I didn't seem to be having as much fun as I'd had before. After much discussion, we decided the difference was Toastmasters.

For 10 years it had been a place for me to go and get unconditional support, practice my skills, and serve other people along the way. Kristi saw the difference, and encouraged me to go back.

Upon my return, I was asked to take over a Division Governor post. This was a choice that meant I would be ineligible to do the one thing I was most known for - compete annually for the World Championship of Public Speaking.

The more I considered my choice and choices, the more the thought occurred that it wasn't Toastmasters that was interfering with my focus on being a professional speaker and coach, but competing. For the last five years my competition cycle has gone from February to June, twice stretching into August. The ensuing anticlimax at the end of each cycle (not winning the World Championship) would send me into a funk for weeks afterward. The same thing happened this year, but was intensified by my leaving the organization altogether.

By accepting the Division Governor position, my choice yielded two new results. First, I would no longer be focusing on winning contests. Second, I WOULD be focused on serving others. It is the season for me to be doing both. In return, I get to go back to Toastmasters.

I walked back into my club tonight, this time with my wife, who has intentions to join for the first time. I hadn't been back since before the Region Contest in June, and I was a bit worried about the reception I'd get. Overall, it was positive. I understand that my wrong choice affected each of them, especially since I had been elected President of the club at my last attended meeting. But, as good Toastmasters usually do, they welcomed me back, and put me to work. (filled in as evaluator, and volunteered to be the Toastmaster for their contest in three weeks.)

My wife had a good time, and will be joining, as she begins her quest to speak on behalf of Neurofibromatosis, and her choices to Thrive.

I've done what I can do to correct my wrong choice - and will continue to follow through to make my new choice work.

When you make a wrong choice, do you live with it? Sit and kvetch over it? Whine, gripe and complain? Let yourself fall into depression? That's your choice.

Choose a different choice. Put yourself in reverse and own up to your error. Make the phone call, send the email, walk up to someone and say "I'm Back!" And consider this: more often than not, you can improve the exact choice you've made in the past, by changing the focus of the choice from consumption to SERVICE.