August Wrap Up - Where Are We Now?

(For those looking for some additional news on my daughter, I refer you to my wife's blog: Thriving with Neurofibromatosis.)

I noticed a funny trend when I looked back at my objectives and deadlines posted two weeks ago Monday, for the Champion of Choice Challenge 2.0. I had accomplished nearly every goal NOT directly pertaining to my speaking and coaching career.

The easy ritual stuff? No problem. I'm even doing push-ups and sit-ups to go along with reading 15 pages a night of Atlas Shrugged, doing family meetings and Bible readings, and spending more time with my kids. I'm down to 242 lbs. I reconnected with Toastmasters. I built my wife's website. We've even started another blog about losing weight together: Stumpy & Bumpy Laugh Off The Pounds!

Yet I've created no business cards or flyers. I've not updated websites or made phone calls. Frankly, I haven't even given a speech in 2 months, except to my children.

Why? Why are these my choices? It's not that hard to figure out. I get major props for most of the above from external sources. The rest is firmly within my control. The speaking and coaching? That's risky. And why risk when there are so many supposedly productive and positive things to be doing?

Starting today, I'm putting risk back into the mix. My confidence is bolstered by what I HAVE done the last 15 days. I can do more.



Where are you with your goals? Are you eating frogs first, or, like me, sticking with the sides and desserts?

The Last Day of Summer

A bit later than I'm used to, and later than most of my Facebook and Twitter friends - even later than most parts of Washington, but at last its arrived. The last day of Summer. Tomorrow, the kids head to school again.

Today I will commit to spending some one on one time with each one - playing, reading, whatever.

Its hard to believe I have an 8th grader, 6th grader, 3rd grader, 1st grader, preschooler, and quickly blossoming toddler. They change so fast - their looks, their speech patters, their attitudes. As Ferris warned us - "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."



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The first two weeks of The Champion of Choice Challenge have been positive and progressive, if not quite as productive as I hoped. I'm not on deadline with all my projects, as usual. I have kept my food journal going, and continue the family meetings, exercise, and nightly reading to get through Atlas Shrugged. The rituals are working - I simply need to create MORE rituals - dedicate chunks of time to individual projects to avoid floating around so much.

Be sure to check out The Champion of Choice Challenge Community - its slowly growing, and provides you a chance to interact with like minded individuals, build relationships, and also offers easy blogging tools to keep us up to date with YOUR challenge and progress!

Multiple Streams of Choices.

In 3 days, my kids return to school. At least, 4 of them do - the 5th has another two weeks. Kristi and I are re-evaluating the next four months. Are the choices we've been making good enough? How can we reorganize to further push her agenda to spread awareness for Neurofibromatosis even as we push my coaching and speaking further upward?

In addition, we're taking a serious look at internet marketing as a viable option to augment our incomes. That creates interesting choices as well. Multiple streams of income are great, but fracturing your niche can be harmful. Choices we see right now involve finding as many things WITHIN our niches to provide value to you, as well as creating some stealth ventures aimed at completely different audiences.

Tonight we're rearranging, putting both of us is the same office setting to enable us to work together more effectively. Years ago, even months ago, I wouldn't have thought that the two of us working together would be viable. Times change, people change, choices change.

The next four months, the next four weeks, heck - the next four hours - promise to be exciting and new. Don't worry, I won't resort to singing Love Boat lyrics.

When You've Made the Wrong Choice

We don't always make the right choices. Sometimes, we make one that we think is for the best, only to find out later it is not. Undoing bad choices is usually possible, but not always comfortable.

Back in June, I made a big deal about choosing to take a sabbatical from Toastmasters. I felt that it was distracting me from accomplishing my goals, and taking me down the wrong road. I needed a change.

Two months later, my wife spoke with me about a change she'd seen in me - my enthusiasm was down, my drive was muted, and I didn't seem to be having as much fun as I'd had before. After much discussion, we decided the difference was Toastmasters.

For 10 years it had been a place for me to go and get unconditional support, practice my skills, and serve other people along the way. Kristi saw the difference, and encouraged me to go back.

Upon my return, I was asked to take over a Division Governor post. This was a choice that meant I would be ineligible to do the one thing I was most known for - compete annually for the World Championship of Public Speaking.

The more I considered my choice and choices, the more the thought occurred that it wasn't Toastmasters that was interfering with my focus on being a professional speaker and coach, but competing. For the last five years my competition cycle has gone from February to June, twice stretching into August. The ensuing anticlimax at the end of each cycle (not winning the World Championship) would send me into a funk for weeks afterward. The same thing happened this year, but was intensified by my leaving the organization altogether.

By accepting the Division Governor position, my choice yielded two new results. First, I would no longer be focusing on winning contests. Second, I WOULD be focused on serving others. It is the season for me to be doing both. In return, I get to go back to Toastmasters.

I walked back into my club tonight, this time with my wife, who has intentions to join for the first time. I hadn't been back since before the Region Contest in June, and I was a bit worried about the reception I'd get. Overall, it was positive. I understand that my wrong choice affected each of them, especially since I had been elected President of the club at my last attended meeting. But, as good Toastmasters usually do, they welcomed me back, and put me to work. (filled in as evaluator, and volunteered to be the Toastmaster for their contest in three weeks.)

My wife had a good time, and will be joining, as she begins her quest to speak on behalf of Neurofibromatosis, and her choices to Thrive.

I've done what I can do to correct my wrong choice - and will continue to follow through to make my new choice work.

When you make a wrong choice, do you live with it? Sit and kvetch over it? Whine, gripe and complain? Let yourself fall into depression? That's your choice.

Choose a different choice. Put yourself in reverse and own up to your error. Make the phone call, send the email, walk up to someone and say "I'm Back!" And consider this: more often than not, you can improve the exact choice you've made in the past, by changing the focus of the choice from consumption to SERVICE.

There are ALWAYS Other Choices

When does YES mean NO and NO mean YES? Every time! Whenever you say yes or no to something, be it something to eat, how you spend your money, or how you spend your time, you are saying yes or no to a different choice, often several choices.

Yet, we often convince ourselves that we don't have a choice at all, much less several choices. We create such emotional stories to attach to some choices that we make them impossible to choose – not in objective reality, but our personal reality.

It can be as simple as not wanting to offend the host or the chef – be it our spouse, a friend, or business contact. They've made something we don't want in our diet, put too much on our plate, or they are the encouraging type: “Please, try this, try that, oh you've got to have some of this!”

We quickly create a choice structure that only satisfies someone else. Choosing not to eat is too painful – we might offend, or start a fight, or put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation of sticking up for ourselves and our goals. We say YES to the chef or host and NO to our diet, our health, our long-term goal. When we mentally cut off choices – meaning NOT eating would never be a choice – that we build dangerous thinking and harmful habits. Learning to say YES to ourselves takes time when it means saying no to someone or something else. A realization that there are more choices available than 'eat or create an offensive, emotional disaster' is required. A realization only comes through practical explanation.

Consider these choices:

A. Choose to think ahead of time
Talk to your spouse or friend ahead of time to discuss the menu and thank them for helping you reach your goals; OR, prepare to eat what you don't want by eating differently beforehand. I always encourage communication as the first option.

B. Choose to stick up for yourself
Take smaller portions, or skip what you don't want. Don't assume you'll offend the chef. If you know you're dealing with someone particularly touchy, offer to take some home with you for later. If they get really pushy, just say no, and either let them know the real reason you're skipping foods (honesty is the best policy), or simply say you're not feeling well – you're stomach's acting up because of whatever made up reason.

C. Choose to bring an ally
When two of you are on the same page, its much easier to hold your ground, and prevents you from being singled out for shame or undue pressure.

D. Choose to be proactive
Invite them first, or take the household cooking into your own hands. Nothing like doing it yourself to make sure you get what you need. Just remember they are now in your prior position, and let them eat, or not, what they choose!

E. Choose to live with the consequences
Sometimes we will run into situations where we just have to grit our teeth and go forward if we want to get to where we want to go. If we continually base our choices by painting ourselves into the corner of concern for others – what they will think or what they will do – we will end up either where others want us to go or where we THINK they want us to go, as opposed to where WE want to go.

YES is NO and NO is YES. Choices abound. Even the most extreme circumstances offer choices, they may simply be harder choices than others. Eating is a great example of this, in that when we think those choices are unimportant, we find the results carry great weight (pun intended).

Beyond our food intake, we find ourselves limiting our choices in exercise, finances, careers, relationships – often feeling stuck or hopeless. By not learning to see more choices, and accept our responsibility to make them, we cripple our future by atrophying our power of choice in the present.

Train your mind to see multiple choices, and multiple outcomes. Make your goals more important to you than other people's goals for you. Don't be afraid to be a YES man, because you're always saying not. Don't be afraid to say NO, because you're always saying YES to something at the same time.

The choices exist. Its up to you to see them, and choose them.

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Don't forget to join The Champion of Choice NING community - its free, its fun, and its live! http://www.championofchoicechallenge.ning.com

What We Knew Then About The Power of Choice

How are you using your Power of Choice this week? I wrote a Twitter post Sunday that read “This will be the week that changes my life. Of course, that can apply to any week - and it should.” A age old motivational saying says that “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”. Yet another says “Act like today is the last day of your life,” though I assume it doesn't require you to quit your job and take your family to Disneyland after selling everything you own and draining your savings.



I watch my kids, and they act like every second is the first second of the rest of their lives. They are fighting, crying, frustrated one moment, then enjoying the next with all the fervor of a tasmanian devil. The younger they are, the quicker they recover. It seems only through age do we get gunshy, and make our choices more deliberate, harder to shift in a moment, and often downright sluggish.

We excuse ourselves from this by calling our new process 'discernment', 'caution', or 'wisdom' – but in truth, it is often just FEAR. Fear of failing again. Fear of getting yelled at. Fear of disappointing others or ourselves. Yes, as adults we have a responsibility to take more care with our choices than we did as children, but we must not allow that care to prevent us from recovering quickly, regaining a positive attitude, and taking all-out action soon after-the-fact of our last disaster.



We often say “If only I knew then what I know now”. What if we knew NOW what we knew THEN? What if we attacked life with the passion of child? With the perspective that all I have to do is do it again, and the persistence to act?

The choices we made as a child weren't miles off of the choices we need to make as adults. The discernment we gain as adults is designed to help us make millimeter adjustments as we shoot for the stars – not ground us for hours, days, weeks, months, years, even lifetimes at a time.

Take it back. Take back your Power of Choice. Act with the passion, perspective, and persistence you had THEN – and refocus your discernment on success, instead of potential disappointment.
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Looking for updates on my latest Champion of Choice Challenge? Head to our community site here: http://championofchoicechallenge.ning.com. It's fun, it's free, it's live!

Keeping the Momentum through Choice: Pt. IV - Evaluation

When you evaluate your progress, what perspective do you take? Do you count up all the things you accomplished, or all the things you did not? Your approach to looking at the past can strongly affect your future.

I find that if I look at all I haven't done, I am LESS motivated to keep going. I start to feel behind and overwhelmed. But I am predisposed to stare at the negative. When I look at what I have actually accomplished, and feel the weight of those in my brain, I gain strength to continue doing what I have set out to accomplish overall.

Society often forces us to look at all we haven't done, which de-values what we have done. Our successes and failures are continually measured against a platinum-standard only a few, by the very nature of the standard, can achieve.

The loser of the Super Bowl isn't considered an elite team, despite the fact they accomplished so much to get there. The 501st company in the Fortune 500 isn't recognized for greatness. Even in this day and age of giving trophies to all the soccer teams in every youth league - we as adults look at the 10th place trophy with cynicism, even as our child runs up to us with joy on their face despite suffering their 5th consecutive shut-out.

While I don't believe we should settle for mediocrity or failure, I do believe we need to recognize the value we do create. I didn't accomplish all my goals last week, but I accomplished many of them. Should we whip ourselves with mental sticks over the things we did not do, or take pride in what we did do?

This brings up another question. Do we want the coach who tells us we're worthless, and sends us back on the field, or the coach who says we can take over the game and come out victorious, because we're talented and strong?

Are you driven by failure or success? Is one of them the right way - the true and certain path? We're all different. Even religion recognizes this, telling its followers that they are of God and can reach there reward, but simultaneously telling them they are sinners and face the fires of hell.


There isn't an 'either/or' answer. Its a 'both' answer. Be willing to see the glass as half-empty AND half-full. Don't err on the side of one or the other. Overconfidence can create results as disastrous as NO confidence. If you tend to look at the negative, actively choose to acknowledge the positive. And vice-versa.

Go out into your next week on the strength of your victories thirsty to refill from your failures. Use both to motivate yourself - your needs may change from day to day, or from goal to goal. Don't fall into the trap of extremism - be ready see your success from every angle. Half-full or half-empty, keep in mind YOU are the one holding the glass.

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The first week of The Champion of Choice Challenge 2.0 is in the books, and its been a great beginning. A big welcome to Phyrne who just joined the NING group - she is one of the big success stories from the first Challenge. You'll have to go there to read it for yourself.

Keeping the Momentum through Choice: Pt. III - Faith!

A quick shout out to Laura, Kristi, and Bari for joining us over at the Champion of Choice Challenge Community Site! Posting your goals, your personal challenge, is the next step! It doesn't have to be huge, and it can even be just one thing! Losing weight, writing a book, starting a blog, trying something new – whatever you want to achieve, come in, write it down, and we'll encourage you towards your success! We may even have some ideas on how you can reach those goals faster than you thought!

I've been talking about how you (and I) can keep momentum up on a daily basis. Wednesday we looked at the power of Change, yesterday the power of Ritual. Today's strategy is Faith.

This does not refer to faith in a “higher power”, though that certainly has its place. Instead, I mean faith in the process. In YOUR process. Once you've identified what you want to do, why you want to do it, and how you are choosing to achieve it, having faith in the process is essential.

Few things happen overnight, and success is rarely an overnight event. Invariably, overnight successes have strong and long roots in obscurity, patience, and even repeated failure. Thomas Edison and Abraham Lincoln are famous example of people whose biggest accomplishments occurred only after years of repeated failures. While both had sparks of success along the way, their 'big moments' far outshined all they accomplished, and failed to accomplish, before that point.

Each had a faith that they would achieve something of value – for themselves, and for the world. Each found a way to keep moving forward after losing an election or seeing yet another experiment fizzle into darkness.

The faith doesn't even have to be in yourself – it may just be in what you're going to do. You know you're going to invent, write, sing, paint, or otherwise create something that brings value to others – through the value of the creation, and the by-product of the success achieved from it. Don't give up too soon, don't stop at the idea right before the idea that works.

Have faith in the process. Write that next blogpost – if its not genius, at least it brings you closer to genius. Paint that next painting – if its not brilliant, it brings you closer to brilliance. Launch that next product – if its not a success, know that your next one will be. Have faith in your ends, and your means will work themselves out to get you there.

Keeping the Momentum through Choice: Pt. II - Rituals!

There will be days that don't go the way you hope. Distractions. Boredom. Needed detours. How do you keep your momentum through the inevitable twists and turns of life? Ritual.

A ritual gives you a touchstone – a series of actions you've committed to performing regardless of all else – regardless of time, mood, energy. A ritual is what you know you must do.

The rituals I am putting into place are many, but three in the evening have saved my day today. Getting my family together for the talk/read/pray 30 minute session is an excellent touchstone to keep balance in my domestic life.

But after that, things went a bit haywire. The TV was on in the background, and instead of opting for a Change, I ended up doing some pretty basic social media exercises and watching America's Got Talent. At midnight, I was faced with a major choice: go to bed OR follow through with my ritual. I knew that if I gave up on the ritual of reading 15 pages in Atlas Shrugged, I'd be falling behind very early in the game. If I didn't do my push-ups, I'd have gone 2 days without exercise. And if I didn't do those things, I would hesitate to even write a post! Not that the rest of my day had gone incredibly sour, but it was not as productive as Monday or Tuesday.

So I followed through. Did my 12/10/7/7 set of pushups, then maxed out at 23 – I believe my highest ever. Read the book. Now I sit here typing. While I didn't have a perfect day, the rituals have helped me keep promises to myself. Now I need some morning rituals!

What can you commit to that will keep you feeling good about your productivity or lifestyle that is easy to do each day, but still moves you forward to a goal? Build ritual into your daily life, and you will build victories into your daily life. Victories beget victories – as well as energy and confidence.

What ritual will you start today?

Keeping the Momentum through Choice: Pt. I - Change!

Were you able to keep momentum yesterday?

Thanks to my lovely wife, I was able to keep moving forward with my projects – specifically a project for her which you can see at ThrivingwithNF.com – there are 2 dead links, but we will soon fix those.

Along with having my wife pushing me to get it done, I changed my environment, moving my laptop from the bedroom office to the kitchen counter. While I expected to be overly distracted by the kids, I ended up LESS distracted, even though they were in closer proximity. Instead of wondering what was going on down the hall, I was in the middle of it, and able to guard my focus more effectively.

Have you done anything to shake things up a bit? Switch your routine? If you have been ineffective in your current environment, you mind becomes programmed to work ineffectively in that environment, as well as grow bored with its surroundings. If a location change won't work, try new pictures on the wall. Rearrange your desk. Buy a new clock. Splurge and get that new office chair. Just change SOMETHING.

My report on yesterday is available on the ChampionofChoiceChallenge.ning.com site. Welcome to Bari, Haishuo, and Terry for joining in the last day! The site is improving everyday – thanks to all of you!

What will you choose to change today?

Day One Momentum - Keep it Rolling!

How'd the first day go?

First of all, a hearty welcome to Chris Elliott and Derick Dickens for joining the The Champion of Choice Challenge Ning site! These are two quality speakers and coaches, and a great addition to the cause.

The site allows you to create your own Challenge through a personal blog, as well as offering upload capability for photos, music, teleseminars, videos. This is a tremendous opportunity to network and mastermind with like-minded individuals.

My first day went very well. After months of putting the video to dvd project off, I finished it up, and delivered it. Finally off my plate! Cleaned up the emails and made my dental appointments for Sept. Spent quality time with the family, since I had to go deliver the dvd's anyway, we all went out for the afternoon. In addition, I started (re-started) our 30 minute calm down time – talking, reading, praying – before heading off to rooms for the night.

Working on Thriving with NF with my wife, I created 4 new logos for her CafePress shop. You can see the other promised updates in my notes, if you want to keep up with my own Challenges.

I love first days – they are great for building momentum. KEEPING momentum is key to getting somewhere. Looking good for one day isn't enough. It may work to get one big sale, give one good speech, create one good date, or finish one great project – but its only a start. What we do on day 2 and beyond is what builds our success.

Enjoy your good days – but don't rest on those laurels. Make the next day even better, and keep making the choices you've promised yourself you'd make.

The Champion of Choice Challenge 2.0

All right, we've had a day off, and its time to charge forward with the Champion of Choice Challenge 2.0.

If you are new, the basis of this blog and the Challenge itself is to show that all that separates us from the success we desire are the choices we make. You can check the archives to see how the first Challenge went, but today, we begin anew, and with a new format.

I will be making three major changes.

The first directly involves YOU, the reader. I really want you to be able to set up your own challenges, tell us about your progress and victories, and reach out to inspire and support others. To facilitate that, I have created ChampionofChoiceChallenge.ning.com, a site that allows us to interact by mail, blog, video – basically a mini-Facebook designed specifically for you to reach the goals you set through the power of choice. Sign up for your own free profile here.

The second will be by creating broad Challenges with smaller, self-contained Challenges that have separate time-frames, designed to build upon each other to the greater goal. One Challenge may be over a 90 day period, another over 7 days. This will allow for stronger tracking and accountability, as well as create victories in a rapid-fire fashion.

The third is that this is now open-ended. I will check in every 3 months with an overall review, but as opposed to another 91 day challenge, this will simply be my lifestyle, and you will have a window into what I am doing, even as you throw the shutters open on your own challenges in the Ning community.

This blog is still home base – but will be posted simultaneously in the Ning community. There will be extras for those who participate there, including podcasts, teleseminars, special reports, sneak previews and product discounts as I release various programs in the coming months.

And now, the Challenges themselves.

I. A Financial Life completely supported by my career as a speaker and a coach. The specific amounts are for me alone to know – suffice it to say my goals are high.

1. Multi-page speaker brochure by August 31
2. 4 scheduled speaking engagements in September
3. Two sets of business cards – one for speaking, one for coaching, by September 4th
4. 100 proposals to speak sent out by September 30th
5. Speaking e-book completed by September 30th
6. 5 articles up on e-Zine Articles by August 31st
7. Coaching specific website up and operable by August 31st
8. 25,000 Twitter followers by August 31st (15,200 as of August 16th)

II. Support my wife with her Thriving with Neurofibromatosis campaign

1.Finish her book by August 31
2.Create posters for free disbursal by August 31

III. Reconnect with Toastmasters. The choice was made several weeks ago for me to take a year sabbatical. That choice was a bad choice. I receive so much support through the Toastmasters organization that leaving left me feeling without family. While I have a large family at home, a professionally supportive family is very important.

1. Complete TM DVDs and deliver on Monday, August 17
2. Reconnect with District Leadership by August 18
3. Return to Spokane Falls TM by August 27
4. Earn CL by June 30, 2010

IV. Create a Healthy Physical Body for Me to Inhabit. (No, I'm not looking for a host body!)

1. Lose 60 lbs by February 15, 2010 – 6 months, 10 pounds a month.
2. Daily tracking of food intake – to be publicly posted on the NING site.
3. Daily exercise – to be publicly posted on the NING site.
a. 100 push-ups program by Sept. 30
b. 100 sit-ups program by October 2nd
4. Finish dental work by October 31st

V. Create stronger mental discipline

1. Daily work in the Secret Abundance Files
2. Daily min. 30 minute exposure to positive reading or audio learning – to be posted publicly on NING
3. Read Atlas Shrugged by October 31st
4. Daily reading in the Bible – to be shared publicly on NING
5. Wake up by 6 am daily
6. Watch only 10 hours of TV per week (except football in the background as I work – lets be realistic.)

VI. Create a stronger family unit

1. Spend more one on one time with each child, guilt-free, each day
2. Build family-time in the evening – 30 minutes minimum to check in, read from the Bible, and pray – starting tonight.
3. Spend more fun time with Kristi, away from the kids, the financials, and the house.

The BIG CHALLENGE – the one that all of the above challenges are designed to add up to, is the ultimate victory:

To help as many other people change their lives through the Power of Choice as possible. Living to my full potential means helping YOU reach YOUR full potential.

Check in here and at ChampionofChoiceChallenge.ning.com daily to get updates, access new resources, make new connections, and set and reach your own Challenges. The Champion of Choice Challenge is here to stay, and its here for YOU.