When You Make the Wrong Choice Part II

 


About  a year and a half ago, I talked about making the wrong choice when I quit Toastmasters.

Last night, I watched the premiere (a day late, thanks to my DVR) of American Idol Season 10, and Jennifer Zevita reminded me of that post, and about a few other wrong choices, and wrong thoughts I've had since my showing in the 2008 World Championship of Speaking, where I performed, according to both my own opinioin, and the opinions of the judges that day, rather poorly.

In the clip below, Ms. Zevita talks about her own 'failure' which led to her own wrong choice:



The quotes that stick out to me are: "I kind of thought it was destiny telling me this wasn't the best path for me," Followed by her realization years later: "What the hell is wrong with me? Since when do I give up on anything?"


Wow. It's amazing how we can let other people tell us who we can be, instead of deciding for ourselves. We can blame judges, parents, friends, bosses - any number of people for telling us we aren't good enough, but in the end, the real culprit is ourselves. We choose who to believe. (Now, for the record, she shouldn't believe me either, because if she makes it past Hollywood Week, I'll be shocked - but who am I?)


She is so shocked that Jennifer Lopez remembered her, and thought highly of her and her voice. It's important to remember that even though we aren't going to be liked by everyone, it doesn't mean that we won't be liked by anyone! The most important person who must like you and what you do? YOU.


There are a lot of reasons people give up on their dreams. In Ms. Zevita's case, it was because she believed in the judgement of three judges, and possibly a producer. Others give up because of money, family, injury, anger, frustration, and depression - and the list goes on. All of those reasons, even some that may be 'good, rational reasons', are still false excuses. The real reason most people really give up their dreams because?  They no longer believe they can achieve it to the degree they wanted to when they had the dream in the first place, 


Have you ever stopped believing in yourself? Thrown up your arms after a bad day , a bad year, or even a bad decade? Decided the greatness you thought you could achieve was outside your grasp? Ask yourself this: what would it take for you to decide you shouldn't have given up? What would it take for you to realize you deserve to succeed the way YOU want to?


Put your dream to the test:


A. Did you quit because others said it wasn't possible?
B. Did you quit because you lost a competition?
C. Did you quit because you thought you could never be as good as someone else?
D. Did you quit because you got distracted? 
E. Did you quit because you couldn't afford to continue?
F. Did you quit because it was too hard to accomplish?
G. Did you quit because you were afraid you wouldn't succeed?


Believe it or not, none of those are good enough reasons to quit. I could provide numerous examples of people who have faced similar circumstances, buy what would be the point. You're not them, right? Think about it for yourself. Whatever your reason was, what concrete, incontrovertible truth do you have that that reason is reason enough? 


Are you so certain others are right? Is the competition over forever, or can you try again? Do you want to be the next Elaine Page or the First *insert you name here*? Do you believe you are incapable of refocusing, refinancing, or pushing past obstacles? Do you believe you are incapable of beating fear? 

The only concrete proof is your own belief. And the only reason your belief is concrete is because you believe it is. Think back in your life - how many things have you done that you, at one point, felt you would never do?


Don't let your biggest obstacle be yourself - because you are likely the only obstacle that can actually stop you. Giving up your dream is always the wrong choice - unless you are replacing with a dream that is even bigger. Never give up on your Self-Defined Success.