Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Start Over.

Do you remember Space Invaders? The old 80's video game where row after row of aliens would march down the screen as you raced to shoot them down before they reached the ground and destroyed you? It started off easy enough. The aliens were slow, and you gained confidence as each one blipped into nothingness after being faced with your amazing trackball/button pushing display.

As you cleared each wave, the next wave would hit, and they would be faster, seemingly smarter than before. And no matter how quick you became, eventually you would be overwhelmed by that last speedy alien you just missed on the last pass.

You'd let out a breath, or an audible scream, or pound the table, but, if you had one left, you'd stick in another quarter and start again.

Yeah - you're waiting for it, so I might as well say it: Life is like a Video Game. The more you play, the better you get. The better you get, the more life gives you to handle. And in the end, we all die. Well, that's using a bit of a broad brush on today's metaphor.

Today's video games are a bit more life-like - not just in their graphics, but their approach. You still die, but you immediately come back to life, and instead of starting at the beginning, you return to the last checkpoint of your current challenge. You can actually complete a game, and be a winner. You can even win without picking up all the 'goodies' available - and then go back and pick up the goodies later on, if you still feel like playing after winning.

In both types of games, you're still faced with myriad choices at increasing speeds, and the ultimate choice of whether you will play on. You experience great joy upon success, and great frustration when the life is drained from your player.

Yes, there's a lot more at stake with our choices in real life. We also usually get more than a few nano-seconds to make our choices. Sometimes we're going to win, sometimes we're going to lose. Perhaps its time to change the game, perhaps its time to change our style of play. Regardless, the biggest choice we'll face is if we're willing to continue to play, in spite of the consequences of our last round with life.

Being a Champion of Choice isn't easy. It's a daily decision. In fact, its a minute by minute decision. And some days the Aliens win. You can choose to stare at the screen at the little white words that say "GAME OVER", or you can choose to pop another quarter in and start again.
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Thanks to Nigel Reed for suggesting this little video - just for fun.

Is Your Life Really OK?

What a week.

Doctors appts 4 straight days for my kids and my wife. If you've been following my wife's blog Thriving With Neurofibromatosis, you have an idea of what she's been going through, and the choices we may be facing for her in the next few days and weeks.

What she has dealt with over the last 20 years is a pain level that many of us just can't imagine. Constant headaches since her days as a teenager. Doctors would continually tell her they were migraines or stress related. As a result, she built up a tolerance, a coping mechanism that changed her pain threshold. She would constantly be at some level of discomfort, and forgot what being 'OK' felt like. After pushing doctors over the last few months, it turns out she's been walking around with Hydrocephalus and swollen ventricles to the brain for an undetermined amount of time. A ticking time bomb with a random timer.

The most likely course of action will be a shunt, which creates continual drainage of fluid from the brain, lowering pressure, and virtually eliminating her headaches. She will feel 'OK' for the first time in years. Her approach to stress will change, her ability to focus and act will improve.

Her turning point was in accepting her diagnosis of Neurofibromatosis as more than an annoyance. More than something to just bear as a genetic disorder. The more she found out about NF, the more the puzzle pieces of her pain fell into place. Then she had to push the doctors beyond their pill pushing propensities, and dig deeper into what was happening to her. She made the choice to stop settling for her life as it was, even though she'd gone for years accepting that it was just the way her life would be.

Have you been settling? Ignoring your pain? Beyond physical pain, there is emotional pain, relationship pain, even financial pain. Look beyond where you are, where you think it's 'OK' to be, and instead look to a life you wish you had. Then choose to dig deeper, to question or downright ignore those that get in your way.

Be the Champion of your own life.

How Do You Choose Your Responses?

This weekend was birthday weekend - one daughter turned 9, the other 2, both on Friday. Friday night was a slumber party, followed by a lunchtime party the next day. That 18 hour period offered many opportunities to watch people of all ages choose their responses.

A. On Friday night, one of the girls told my daughter the party was boring and she wanted to go home. Red Alert! Riley left the room crying - a typical response. My wife was more than a little frustrated, but of course tempered her response toward the offender, asking her how she would feel if Riley did that at HER birthday party, and offering her a choice: apologize, or have her parents pick her up. It took a few minutes, but she apologized after thinking through her options. Riley's choice was indicative of her place in life right now, and we talked to her about choosing to stand up for herself vs. fleeing in tears. Interestingly, the next day, the same girl talked about how much fun she had at the party, and wanted to stay over Saturday night too!

B. My wife home-made the cakes for our daughters. She was not happy with them. She was using new methods and the results were below her standards of perfection. And then she asked my opinion. Guys, this is right up there with 'Do I look Fat?' as far as the danger zone of answering goes. I looked at it, and thought 2 things: 'This looks really good' and 'I know why she doesn't think so'. I had a choice - tell her it was good knowing she wouldn't believe me, or tell her I understood how she feels, but to me it looks great. Either would have been better than what I said: "Well, from an adult standpoint, I see why you don't like it, but...." - Oops. Took a few minutes to get to the rest of it "but the important thing is Riley loves it!". Not a good choice on my part. I hoped to communicate honestly, but my approach needed a bit more icing on the top. Of course, Kristi could have chosen a different response to my response....but let's not go down that road. We're all about personal responsibility at The Champion of Choice Challenge.

C. My mom brought over gifts for both girls. My two-year-old was too busy playing with one toy to bother opening Grandma's gift. As parent's we didn't want to create a tearful scenario by ripping away one gift in favor of the next, but we also didn't want Grandma to forever sit waiting. My mom could have responded with impatience, indignation, anger - but instead she chose to laugh. She watched her Granddaughter intently and contentedly playing with her first gift, and just waited until Brooklyn was ready. It took almost a half an hour, but she finally gave up the toy and headed to her new gifts. Brooklyn's own choice was interesting to watch. She didn't get upset at our attempts to divert her - she simply ignored us!

We cannot control someone else's response. We can plan for it and even attempt to influence it, but in the end, the only response we can control is our own. It is common to blame another for making us feel a certain way - positive or negative. And we do have a natural emotional response to how others act towards us. As human beings with cognitive brain function, however, we must take responsibility for how we filter those emotions into our responses, and how we form every response we offer.

Being a Champion of Choice means accepting your ability to change a conversation, set a boundary, avoid temptation, defuse an argument, and resist tempting others. Of course, it also means accepting your ability to make things significantly worse, if the surrounding parties aren't Champions themselves.

Remember Champions - with use your powers for good - or you'll end up looking like this guy:


May the Force Be With You.

Are Your Goals Big Enough?

I've been gone a few days. This is what I've been working on, among other things.

I also watched the final performances of 'America's Got Talent' and subsequent finale last night. I was not terribly shocked at the final two, Kevin Skinner, chicken catcher country singer extraordinaire and cancer survivor operatic genius Barbara Padilla, making the cut to face each other at the end.

I was slightly surprised that Kevin won the whole thing, in part because I felt Barbara Padilla was the stronger performer, and more of a slam dunk going into Vegas and the entertainment arena. But then again, so was Adam Lambert, despite his 2nd place finish in American Idol. Even Susan Boyle, who sang before last night's results were revealed, was a clear winner in Britain's Got Talent before losing to Diversity.

It's almost as if voters say to themselves "this person is bigger than this show - I'm going to vote for the other guy, because they need it more". Granted, it could also be a bit of fickleness for over-exposed celebrity by people who haven't done anything yet. Either way, these 'Losers' can turn into Winners in a way they didn't expect at the beginning of their journey.

When you set goals, do you create realistic scenarios? Do you 'hedge your bets' to prevent disappointment? After all, who would be silly enough to say "I'm going to make a hundred thousand dollars this year, even though I've never come close in the past"? Jack Canfield would, actually. How about a million dollars?

Barbara Padilla, Adam Lambert, and Susan Boyle will all have careers that go far beyond what they set to accomplish. Losing actually opens up doors they may have been locked out of in the contracts that bind the winners. If they keep their goals small, and let the competition define them, they will limit their accomplishments as well. Regardless of how you feel about their music, Kelly Pickler, Clay Aiken, and Chris Daughtry have all gone on to great success by allowing goals bigger than winning American Idol to enter their field of view.

When you set your goals, don't limit yourself to reality, or too narrow an outcome. Leave room for a force greater than you to change your path and lift you higher than you ever imagined. If you are in a competition, why does the outcome of the competition define your future? If you can lose 25 lbs, why not 50? Or lose 25 and be in incredible shape? If you can make 100,000 dollars in 12 months or less, why NOT a million?

Make the choice to be open to more. The old saying is that one God closes a door, he opens a window. Perhaps we should change that to 'When God closes a window, he opens a door. A really BIG door."

Why Do YOU Connect?

How many friends, followers, and connections do you have? Have you discovered MySpace yet, or have you long since left it in the dust? Are you on Facebook? Twitter? LinkedIn? NING? Plaxo? Plurk? FriendFeed?

Only a few of you do them all, and a few do even more.

I started my first MySpace account as a fairly early adopter, then got out, then got back in. If you go there now, it says "You can find me on Facebook. Sorry Tom."

I've been on Linked In since 2004, thanks to my friend LaMont Snarr, who invited me to join, but have been pretty dormant until the last few months. I have just over 430 connections, I think. I like the discussion strings on LI - they reach a broader audience than a typical Google Group. Seems a bit of life has been sparked there recently - but many of my connections are also connections on Facebook.

Google Groups, as mentioned above, cater to a narrower audience. I started a Toastmasters Group almost 18 months ago (to replace an older one, which had been overtaken by SPAM) here - and it offers quite a bit of conversation about Toastmasters International, and has even been known to catch the eyes of the higher ups in our organization.

Facebook has been a blast since January of this year. I had been on it, but barely, for at least a year prior, but didn't start working it til lately. I've got 801 friends at the moment. It's a lot fun, but a lot of time to devote, as well. I had pages up for Go Ahead and Laugh and The Champion of Choice Challenge, but took them down when it was apparent they were to much to maintain.

Twitter - yeah, Twitter. Joined just before the boom hit, 14 months ago. Didn't work it much til December, and now I have close to 19,000 followers. I used to communicate a lot using a third party program called Tweetdeck (I even wrote an article about it here), but haven't opened Tweetdeck in months. Its not even on my new computer. I still tweet regularly, but my conversations have gone down.

I'm involved with many of the others, as well, but to lesser degrees. NING is an interesting program - a niche-oriented Facebook. A great way to create a community if you find a niche that will motivate. As well as being a member of 6 or 7 NING communities, I have created one for The Champion of Choice Challenge here.

So - cool Rich Hopkins - you're involved in SO MUCH. WHO CARES? What's the point? What choices are you making? Is this driving your success, or just sucking all the time out of your life? (And I haven't even talked about blogging, building websites, writing articles....)

There are so many avenues to connect with people without ever leaving the comfort of your chair that nobody with access to an internet connection should ever complain about loneliness again, much less lack of prospects.

Uh oh - did I just call you a prospect? My dear friends on Facebooks are now nothing more than marketing targets? Twitter is all about making money? Well, yes. And no. Do you do business with your friends? Do you buy their books? Do you recommend them to others? Do you support them in their endeavors? Of course you do. Customers are friends, and friends are prospective customers. The more friends you have, the more successful you are likely to be.

Even if you are my best friend in the world, and I give you all my books for free, let you into my workshops at no charge, and give you all the free advice you want, you are still, technically, a 'contact'. Shudder. You just might say something to someone at the right time in the right way that connects me to another gig. Or send someone to my website or blog. If you don't, I probably haven't been a very good friend, right?

I'm still optimizing my usage of these platforms. I'm no social media expert, but I know a lot of people who claim to be, and one or two who actually are. Below, I share my personal rules for social media usage, based on what I want to accomplish. They may work for you, they may not. But, as any REAL social media guru will tell you, the rule is there are no rules. Do what you feel will get you where you're going.

1. Don't be overly political - it's worse than peeing in the pool. If you're just there to be purely you, consequences be darned, then fine. But know the consequences may cost your friends, opportunities, and in some cases, even your job. Or, if you're Larry Winget, it'll simply make you more popular.



2. Use humor, but know your audience. Don't assume others will take your humor with humor. Just trust me on this - or read my post on Michael Jackson a while ago, here.

3. Keep your friends your friends, but remember everyone who's a 'contact/potential customer' wants to be your friend at some level. I don't want to be overly personal (that's why we created email and IM), nor do I want to be overly sanitized. The closer your real personality and your professional personality are, the greater your authenticity and level of integrity becomes.

4. Promote others. Share other people's blogs and products on Facebook. Retweet. Get involved in conversations on LinkedIn. Zig and others say it constantly "the more success you create for others, the more success you create for yourself" (paraphrase).

5. Be consistent, but not manic. I have issues with this one. I'm constantly online, checking statuses, tweets, emails, etc. Even ONE platform can dominate your day, if you aren't watchful of your time. You want to be seen, but 24/7 monitoring may not cast a great image of your business or time management.

My goal is to reach out and connect to as many people as possible - from old classmates to Toastmasters to all the speakers I will eventually sharing the stage with to anyone who might want to see me speak, hire me as a coach, read one of my books, etc. As the connections, friends and followers grow, so will my personal friendships, and professional successes. Sometimes, they are amazingly intertwined!

Why are you using social media? ARE you using social media? If you're reading this blog, you are - even blogger is social media to a point. You have choices to make. Which to use, or not. How you'll use them. Why you'll use them. But make no mistake, social media is here to stay, in one form or another. I suggest choosing to do something about it vs. waiting out its demise. The world is getting closer every day - are they getting closer to YOU?

Climbing The Wall: 4 Week Challenge 2.0 Update

The climb over the wall can get crowded, and busy! Already 4 weeks into the the second challenge - the weeks have flown by.

Several of the habits and rituals I chose to form, reading, food log, push-up challenge (finally into week 3!), and family time, have survived the journey. Others, from journaling to listening to educational/motivational tapes have barely left the gate.

I'm blogging consistently, and have added the Stumpy & Bumpy Laugh Off The Pounds blog to the mix, which compartmentalizes my weight loss challenge. I'm down to 239, and I'm not looking back. I'm about to add another blog to the mix, focusing on speaking and speakers. If you're looking to write a book, create articles, or simply get noticed - blogging is a great way to create and hone content.

I've been focusing on building income on the internet, and partnered with several folks to sell Go Ahead and Laugh to their fans. Affiliate marketing has potential to be a great choice for me. There are several other opportunities I'm looking at, and if you have a product you'd like me to help you promote, let me know.

Twitter continues to be a growing fan base, as I close in on 19,000 followers. I'd originally set 25,000 as an August goal, but there's only so many I can follow per day, So I've ramped it down, expectation-wise. If I have 21,000 by end of September, I'll be doing well. My Facebook experience has been similarly favorable. You can Facebook me at http://facebook.com/richhopkins.

The kids are back in school, reducing my distractions. I'm back in Toastmasters, which has really given me back some joy.

As I look back at my original list, there are many things I have not done. Going forward, there are new things I see myself doing. Ritual works. The white board method, so far, does not. Working with my wife works better every day. Working when the kids get home from school does not. Saying that I'm going to do something, like write a book, or start a blog, doesn't work. Doing them, and then talking about it, works (yes, I know I talked about starting a blog earlier in this post...). I know that I am happier now than I was 4 weeks into the original challenge. The foundational changes I have made in my daily life are key.

My judgment, this morning at least, is that The Challenge, at this stage, is succeeding. I can improve its results, and I am feeling more empowered to do so than I have in weeks.

How is your Challenge going? Have you joined our community at NING? If you are there, have you posted? The community will be worth what we make it worth. I'm looking at some new activities for the community to liven it up - but the best way to do that is for its members to be alive!

Your Challenge (and mine) is meant to create growth. It is not meant to be an easy checklist. Instead, it is a gauntlet of activities designed to test our skills, and create growth, occasionally through pain. Don't judge your Challenge by whether or not it is completely met, but by the growth you have experienced learning to master it.

Make the choice to keep moving forward, to keep climbing the wall. To observe and take credit for the steps you've taken, even if its only been one. Its still one more than you had taken before.

Crazy like a FOX: Ellen on American Idol

DISCLAIMER: Today's blog references American Idol. If AI disgusts you, run away fast. Worry not, its not ABOUT AI, it simply refers to events in the show that are related to my topic.

Just when you thought no one could be a worse judge of talent than Paula Abdul, the folks at American Idol sign Ellen Degeneres to be their 4th judge for the upcoming season. When was HER last chart topping pop album? Which rock stars has she sent shooting towards the stars of success?

Yes, she has a nice little talk show, and is quick with a joke, and probably a light of your smoke - but isn't there someplace we'd rather she be? Sorry, I occasionally slip into Billy Joel lyrics when exasperated.

The producers are exercising their power of choice in an unexpected manner, but with great deliberation. Last years 4th judge, Kara, is an industry professional. Putting Ellen on the forum is the equivalent to dropping Dennis Miller onto the set of Monday Night Football a few years ago. While Dennis is a wonderfully talented and witty human being within his social and political setting, he was out of place and overmatched on the set of MNF. He didn't get the game, he didn't get the fans, and he didn't get to keep the gig. I expect the AI's Ellen results to be similarly disappointing.


If I can see it coming, and you can see it coming, why would they choose to make it happen? One of two reasons: either they DON'T see it coming and believe Ellen will expand the demographic and add value to the judging, or, more likely, they DO see it coming, and are counting on all of us to tune in to watch the train wreck side show she will bring each week to what is otherwise fairly solid entertainment (relatively speaking).

When you make changes in your life, you face similar choices. Looking for a bigger market share, whether with customers or simply those who inhabit your daily life? Doing more of the same creates diminishing returns. Adding something radically different, however, will attract attention. Sometimes negative attention, but attention nonetheless.

Consider your options, and your outcomes. Make your choice, and stick by your guns, at least for a season. If it works, great! If not, be prepared to create a new strategy next time around. Actually, its not a bad idea to prepare for a new strategy regardless of how it goes - even a train wreck will bore the rubberneckers is left unchanged for too long.

SPECIAL BONUS: Top 14 Dennis Miller quotes on Monday Night Football - in honor of the opening of the NFL season, tonight on NBC! Provided by Topfive.com


14. "Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary -- the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians."

13. "I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun."

12. "The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop."

11. "I've seen women pee standing up with better aim."

10. "Somebody call Janet Reno -- I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!"

9. "That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche."

8. "I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet."

7. "Hey, Cunningham -- Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi."

6. "He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house."

5. "Hey Deion, Bubbelah -- maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you to acquire four of the five remaining 1932 Aston Martins still in road-worthy condition after you'd paid for life's little necessities like hookers and weed, get your medulla oblongata out of your duodenum for a few milliseconds, and make a tackle or two, okay, Babe?"

4. "When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb."

3. "That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena."

2. "Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island."

...and the Number 1 Dennis Miller Monday Night Football Quote...

1. "Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!"

The Choice of Obama Drama

Believe it or not, choice was really at the bottom of today's Obama Drama.

Veiled under a fear of what he might say, was the common human panic when they are backed into a corner - when they feel they have no choice.

When something is forced, or seemingly forced, upon us, it is human nature to kick back. Even those who back the President questioned his approach, or at least the media's coverage of his approach.

People said they were worried he would give a socialist message, or talk healthcare, or perhaps turn our children into Democrats with latent hypnotic commands (okay I didn't hear this one, but I bet some bizarro believed it).

I believe the real issue was that we felt he was giving us no choice as parents. Our kids were in school, out of our control (because we as parents, after all, like to control our kids choices). He was the President, so surely all schools would be forced to show the video (didn't see the Nat'l Guard called out to enforce the viewing. Did you?). And, of course, the only way to protect our kids from seeing this obvious power-play against our freedoms was to keep kids at home, safe from harm, in front of their video-games.

Had the President communicated to the media about the choices available - watch it or don't, show it or don't - had he shown flexibility and overt willingness to enforce our freedom of choice, the drama would have been significantly lessened.

When you deal with people in your life, what choices are you giving them? Don't step on their freedoms - or they're likely to kick you in the (fill-in your own choice of words)!

Who Do You Hang Around?

There's an old saying from Napoleon Hill that we become the average of the 5 people we hang around most - our 5 closest friends. In my case, my 4 of my 5 closest friends are children, so yeah, that's probably accurate!

Choosing who we spend time with is often not seen as a choice. You can't choose your family, they say. You CAN choose how much time you spend with them, though, as well as how you spend that time, and what is allowed to happen in that time.

Unless we're the boss, we can't control who we work with, right? You CAN choose how you react to them, however. You can even choose whether to keep working there.

But our friends? That is completely and easily within our control. Despite the emotional stories we create that might prevent us from changing who is in our inner circle, it is possible to switch who we interact with on a regular basis fairly easily.

I'm not suggesting that you don't have the perfect friends right now. Do you? Have you taken a look at them lately? Are they a positive influence? Do they encourage you to meet your goals, or theirs? Are they pushing you up, or dragging you down? If your goal is to create a booming home business, are they busy encouraging you, and perhaps even helping? Or are they telling you how ridiculous your scheme is? Even if they think your scheme is ridiculous, the best friends will find ways to say it in constructive, vs. destructive, ways.

What many motivational and business gurus don't talk about is the reverse side of friendship. After all, we're not in it just for ourselves. What are you giving to your friends? Do you encourage and mentor? Do you have friends that make less and are not as successful as you, but who you are helping to propel closer to THEIR goals?

If we only hang with people who we perceive are better than us, are we not building a faulty model? After all, how could someone MORE successful than ourselves then hang with us? To work properly, it must work both ways.

Of course, we must delineate a friend with a poor attitude from a friend who is simply at a different level of life. Making the choice to jettison or at least drastically reduce exposure to people with poor attitudes is vital to keeping a positive perspective on your own future.

Those at a different level of life? Consider keeping balance. Find friends who have achieved your goals, and learn from them. Keep friends who are in your peer group, but willing to back you in your pursuit of greater achievements.

Perhaps the missing part of this equation is this: seek out friends who you can help. Find people you enjoy spending time with who will benefit more from being your friend than they can give to you in return. Don't just be a guru or a mentor or a coach - be a friend.

I would suggest a new equation for the Napoleon Hill's of the world: You are the average of what the 5 people you helped most finally achieved.

Choices on the Fly

Tonight was my weekly Toastmasters meeting. 6 o'clock, downtown Spokane, 2nd floor at Auntie's Bookstore. For the second week in a row, my lovely wife attended. As we approached the building, we realized we were in big trouble.

Parking in Downtown Spokane is always tricky. Plenty of paylots, limited street parking. With events at the convention center, it can get frustrating finding a spot within reasonable parking distance. For me, thats about 50 feet...

Tonight, as we heard the music and smelled roasted pork in the air, we remembered "Labor Day Weekend in Spokane means Pig Out in the Park"! Not just a big event, the second biggest outdoor event of the year. No parking available whatsoever. The Parking Lots wanted 10 bucks. NO WAY!

Determined to get my wife to her 2nd meeting of Toastmasters, I dropped her off as I continued to circle around. With every turn I faced a new choice. Do I A. Spend $ to park, B. Continue to drive around and pray with fervor for an open spot, or C. leave my wife there and go sit around for an hour somewhere else.

Three pretty clear choices, and choices that had to be made over and over again with each passing moment. Round and round I went...Are THEY leaving? Nope. There's an open...oh, no, motorcycles only. How far away is the closest spot - how long would it take me to walk? 20 minutes later I was still circling. I was determined to get a close spot. Gas and Time are expensive investments, but so is my health, and my ability to not sweat in a suitcoat and have my wits and wind intact when I speak.

After each turn, I inched closer to simply leaving and coming back for my fair spouse. Just as I was about to give up, the clouds parted, the angels sang, and a spot just across the street from the bookstore opened up. I was in the exact right spot at the exact right time. Had I chosen to walk, I would have lost the same amount of time, and I would have been hot and sweaty. Had I ended up leaving, my wife would have stressed, they'd be out an evaluator, and I very well may have ended up in the doghouse for awhile...

These and dozens of other thoughts went through my mind tonight as I looked for a spot. In the end, I'm glad I stuck it out. I fulfilled my role as evaluator, though I came in the room right at 6:25. I got a close spot. And my wife was happy to see me.

The Art of Choice is flexible. The presence of Choices is a constant state of being. The more you pay attention to them, the more you understand how to make them fit your value system. The quicker you become able to make confident decisions even in continually changing conditions.

I can't promise the heavens will always open up at precisely the right moment based on the choices you make, at least you know wherever you end up is where you've chosen to go. And when you've got a choice around every corner, those Choices on the Fly will become easier as you make exercising your Power of Choice a constant and continual choice in and of itself.

How Do You Handle Bad News?

My family has had a lot of bad news lately. Not a little bad news, or news that is bad, but only a little bad; but really bad news.

Medical issues with my kids. Medical issues with my wife. Yesterday, my wife's grandfather passed away suddenly, collapsing as he watered the lawn, just days short of his 80th birthday.

It the nature of Living. Often tough to understand, understandably depressing, and emotionally exhausting. They are also choices waiting to be made.

I'm not here to tell anyone they can't grieve or be sad, or even be angry. It's their choice. And it isn't, by nature, a bad choice. When it comes to sick kids, emotions run high. Simply 'choosing' to feel good is a mask that is just as dangerous as falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

What exercising our Power of Choice allows us to do is to choose to feel badly, to grieve, to be angry, while simultaneously putting us in control of choosing how, when, where, and for how long we feel bad, grieve, and be angry.

Among other issues, my 6 year old daughter may be losing her vision - she may be legally blind by 10. This makes me sad and angry. But being sad and angry simply doesn't help her. It doesn't help my wife. All I can do is make the choice to give Rachel the best care available, and help her create her best possible future - making sure that my sadness and anger doesn't turn her sad and angry before she's old enough to understand her own Power of Choice.

Sometimes life gives us lemons. And the lemons may be too damaged to make lemonade. But they always carry a seed for something better, if we're willing to dig deeper into the problem fruit, and make the choice to plant.

Using Murphy's Law

"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." - some guy named Murphy.

You've read many posts about preparing for Murphy's Law, I bet. Bring extra batteries. Call ahead. Bring a map. Carry a cel phone and cash. Wear clean underwear.

I like to use Murphy's law in my favor. Today I had a dentist appointment. I hate waiting in the waiting room, especially there. So I activated Murphy's Law by bringing a book I've been dying to read (Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads) with me. Got through 2 whole pages before they called me up.



Works for all sorts of things.

If I want to get a speaking slot at my Toastmasters meeting, I make sure I'm totally unprepared. Works every time.

Need one of the kids to do an errand? Don't yell down the hall. Instead, put on headphones and listen to that Every Day is Saturday Motivational MP3 you downloaded.

If I want my wife to make my favorite dish, I make sure to go through Burger King on the way home to dinner. I'm a bit stuffed by bedtime, but hey, we all have to sacrifice.

It takes conscious, creative effort to make Murphy's Law work in your favor - but all great choices do.

August Food Log

This won't be a Twitter/Facebook promoted post. If you're a regular reader, here's your reward: My August Food Log (Don't all thank me at once!). The trends of emotional eating are easy to spot. I still lost weight in August, shockingly. This part of my Challenge is very openly moving to Stumpy & Bumpy Laugh Off The Pounds starting in September (hey, that's TODAY!).

1 - bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, PBJ sandwich on white, 2 mozzarella sticks, double burger, generous amounts of Chocolate Sauce straight from the bottle, 96 oz of water.
2 - 4 chicken nuggets, 6 tater tots, 50 oz of water. (sick today)
3 - 1 bagel with cream cheese, 1 thin slice of roast beef, 5 Ruffles, 1 Vitamin Water, 1 chocolate chip cookie, went to the lake, steak and potato, small amounts of Chocolate Sauce straight from the bottle, 96 oz of water.
4 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, 2 eggs, small steak, 1 piece of toast, 2 mozzarella sticks, roast beef, mac & cheese, bowl of chocolate mint ice cream. 96 oz of water.
5 – bowl of chocolate mint ice cream, baked potato with butter, 1 grilled cheese sandwich, popcorn, 1 giant Snickers bar, 96 oz of water
6 – breakfast steak, 2 eggs, mini-snickers, mini-reeses, ½ mini kit kat, 3 diet pepsis, 2 chicken legs, bowl of cookie dough ice cream, 2 slices of cheese
7 – bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, jr. cheeseburger, fries, cheeseburger, tator tots, reeses, twizzlers
8 – 2 pieces of french toast, breakfast steak, leftover hamburger, cheese sticks, popcorn
9 – 1 ½ donuts, cream filled, 2 mcchickens, hotwings, chocolate milk
10 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, McChicken Sandwich, ¼ McChicken BLT, a few fries, two hostess cupcakes. Weighed in at 248 today. Need to keep pushing. Pork Chop, Peas, Rice, bowl of Ice cream, chips and salsa. Bad Bad Rich
11 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, pork chop, two puddings, 5 pork ribs, 1 biscuit, salad, popcorn
12 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, roast beef, two puddings, ice cream, chinese chicken, rice
13 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, turkey, Angus Mushroom burger, fries, 3 chocolate chip cookies, chips and salsa
14 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, popcorn, 2 chicken nuggets, hot wings, sour patch kids, snickers
15 – bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, turkey and roast beef deli meat, 2 pancakes, bacon, egg, chips
16 – turkey, 4 chocolate cookies, two puddings, steak, small potato, ear of corn
17 – 4 slices of combo pizza from Costco, noodles with alfredo sauce, ¼ serving of chicken breast, 4/5 of a giant Snickers bar.
18 - ½ steak plus 1 egg, 1 brownie, ½ bag popcorn, 1 serving roast beef with gravy, peas, ½ baked potato, couple handfuls of Monkey Munch
19 – 4 handfuls of Monkey Munch (roughly a bowl of cereal), roast beef with gravy, chips and salsa, ½ serving of chips/cheese/ground beef, snickers bar.
20 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, three chicken legs, chips and salsa, small breakfast steak
21 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, 2 small salmon filet's, dark chocolate, 3 pork ribs, popcorn
22 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, sliced deli roast beef, popcorn, chips and salsa, 2 pork ribs
23 – one pancake, 4 strips of bacon, one egg, chicken sandwich, 12 chicken wings, ice cream
24 – 10 chicken wings, salad, pork rinds, ice cream
25 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, small turkey sandwich, doritos, Peanut Butter M&Ms, chocolate cake, gourmet hamburger, popcorn, ice cream (wow, that's adds up to a really bad day)
26 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, breakfast steak, spaghetti, way too many oatmeal/peanutbutter/chocolate cookies, popcorn
27 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, deli sliced chicken breast, Panda Express (orange chicken, mushroom chicken, fried rice/chowmein mix) popcorn, redvines, peanut butter M&Ms
28 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, deli sliced turkey, McDonalds Chicken BLT, ½ fries, popcorn
29 – biscuits with sausage gravy, chicken sandwich (home version), orange chicken with rice (home version, red vines, peanut butter M&Ms
30 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, 3 chicken legs (spices), sliced deli chicken, grasshopper cookies, lasagna casserole
31 – Bowl of Marshmallow Matey's, 3 ½ pieces of Pepperoni Pizza, 1/3 package of Grasshopper Cookies, Chips and Salsa